A Likely Story

Artemisia Gentileschli’s “Susanna and the Elders” (1610–1)

The actor Stephen Collins once fondled me at an awards ceremony. It’s true. Almost thirty years ago, when I was a theater critic at The New Yorker magazine, I had my butt fondled by Stephen Collins at the Drama Desk Awards. Is “fondle” the right word? It was really more of a caress, I suppose, or it would have been if we had known each other at all. I mean, if we had known each other at all well. And liked each other. It was very much the sort of thing I do to…